o whatta night

alrite blog im back.

i did 45 minutes cardio on the elliptical, and that burned a massive 400 calories. i love that part :o) getting to see that fatty number on the machine just screaming "YOU ARE DOING AWESOME" - and that is what its basically saying, so dont try and tell me its not.

it was great tonite, because there was almost no one there. when i got there, there a few people in front of me, and a couple of guys doing weights, and a guy doing a treadmill down the ways to my left. pretty good. i took nathans nano with me - but MADtv was on, so i plugged my headphones into the thing-a-ma-bob that lets me hear the teles and watched that for 45 minutes. anjelah johnson is a new cast member, and shes really funny. i was introduced to her standup last summer, by my sister. she found her on you tube. look her up. shes freaking funny.

so funny, i actually snorted out loud in the gym. no im not lying. luckily at this point everyone had left except one creepy dude walking around - not doing anything. no, he wasnt, like, taking a break between abs and cardio. no he wasnt just running to get a drink. he just was walking aimlessly. he heard me snort. and out of the corner of my eye ( i refused to make it possible for him to make eye contact with me) i saw him laugh at me! argh! blast that snort. the rest of the night, i knew he wanted to talk to me. i could just tell. or im just full of myself.

a little after the snorting incident, i see creepy dude get on his cell phone, and walk around the gym, talking to someone. and in my mind im trying to imagine the conversation that was happening. does he actually say to that other person, "yeah, man, im at the gym. just, you know, working out."? 'cause if so, then isnt the other person saying, " so, how is it that you are speaking to me, i mean without being out of breath? or without dropping your weights? ... o wait. you must just be walking in circles around that huge mirrored area, checking yourself out!" and, yes, that is what he was doing.

after the cardio, i did some abs, and lost track of creepy dude. i thought maybe he left. but i was wrong. i headed over to the mirrored area, to do some leg machines - and there he is. so let me try and paint this picture. i sit on my machine, to work my outter thighs. this machine faces the mirror. in front of me a little ways and to the right are some free weights. im sure you can see where this is going. luckily, i had put on the nano, and i again, refused to make eye contact. and then out of the corner of my eye (it got a good work out tonite too) i see him start lifting those massive free weights. not the kind where you have one in each hand, but the big long ones you pick up with both hands - and he's all lifting it over his head and what not. and again, i think o no hes, what?, showing off for me? i know, i know, im conceited, its all about me. but seriously? you walk around in circles for at least a half hour, and now suddenly you want to show off you muscles. please.

but then the thought occurs to me - we are the only two people in this joint. he better not drop that on himself. because, i have a serious fear of people. and, in addition, hes the creepy dude, and that makes it way worse. and i just dont know if i can get over that fear and anxiety of having to make eye contact with him to be able to help. so this is what my answer to that problem was. i close my eyes. no, that does not stop me from being responsible to help someone in need. but it gives me an excuse if i get to the scene a little later than someone who didnt have on her nano really loud, and worked out with her eyes closed.

i moved around to some different machines, and he finally moved to a machine too - where, i kid you not, while he worked his arms he watched himself in the mirrors. and i mean, we all look at ourselves when we pass a mirror (most of us), and its hard not to look if you are on a machine that faces a mirror. but he was standing facing a set of machines and the mirrors were to his left. so while he pulled the handles from behind him and forward, he turned his head to his left and watched as his muscles flexed. i just thought this was so goofy. this was also witnessed from the corner of my eye.

then another man came and started doing weights around me. i made eye contact with him, and we gave each other the half smile/half nod greeting. creepy dude exits stage right at this moment - broken hearted that after an hour of his longing for me, he did not even get that much from me, and the new guy did. by new guy wasnt creepy. so there.

and blog, that was my night at the gym. im so serious this time.